Sunday, June 28, 2009
David has been gone for training since last week (he comes home tonight, yay! Trying to stay awake to see him home) and as I was in my hometown the day before he left shooting a senior session (I need to blog about it!) he cut up little pieces of paper and wrote "I love you!" on them and placed them all around the house. (Credit for the image below. I told you I didn't feel like getting up to get my camera!)We won't even talk about how a majority of the notes were left in the kitchen! :-) hah What can I say, he knows where I go the most! There was also one in my laptop, in my makeup bag, and clothes drawers & shoe rack.
Ok fine, the ones in the kitchen were: On the fridge, on the sweet-tea container when you open the fridge, in the snack drawer, in the pull out drawer where my oven mitts are, in the coffee machiene, and in the silverware drawer... I think that's it?
Prayer Request: Please pray for this lovely lady as she is waiting on test results from a spinal tap.
Pizza: I may or may not have ordered a Large pizza, Cheese bread sticks & a 2 liter diet pepsi for dinner.....all for myself (hides face) In my defense, I had 2 of the cheese bread sticks & 1 slice of pizza for dinner! I really don't know why I ordered so much food.. I just did, but I know what i'll be eating the rest of the week! (and running extra to punish myself!!)
Photography: Thank you all for your support in the last post. I love my blogging friends. I'm not stopping. I'm using any negativity to fuel my fire!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
[this is my blog, my outlet, and I will speak my mind]
Nothing prepares you for the day you realize a close friendship is over, or that is has created some feelings that may not be resolved, no matter how much you would like to reconcile. In my life I have been hurt by two, now three, girls worse than I was ever hurt by a boyfriend. (keeping in mind that my first 'boyfriend' got a girl pregnant while we were together, and I had no idea he was being 'unfaithful') The friendships with these girls were all friendships that I held dearly to my heart and it still upsets me to think about. I would say that my eyes will not shed any more tears, but there are currently tears in my eyes.
I honestly 100% thought that there was a mutual encouraging relationship between me and her. We would talk throughout gmail pretty much all throughout the workday Monday-Friday. She would tell me something exciting about her more experienced business, and I would tell her something exciting about my new blooming business. I shared frustrations of the business world (maybe I should have kept a few comments to myself, but I was afterall in the presence of a friend) and always made sure to ask what she was up to and encourage her and her work. Somewhere in between there, it seems that things got taken out of context and I now look like I am a braggy person.
My desire was never to say, "Hey look at me! Look what i'm doing!" I do have a little more time to focus on creating a bigger clientele now, but I have no choice- I do not have a job! There is no steady income from my part of the marriage. If anything I wanted to know that I was on the right path and never in a million years would I think things would turn out like this.
I didn't "know" anyone except her in the business before jumping in with two feet, so of course I had questions that maybe I should have found someone else to ask, but I realize now that photography is so cut-throat, and I am contemplating finishing the weddings I have booked and hanging up my business hat. I just feel so defeated.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
On a different note, Happy Father's Day! (Below, my father [need to take a picture of his picture for this computer!] My Mom & "Dad" [stepdad], and below that, My FIL, MIL, and nephew. Please excuse the fact that my dad looks like Colonel Sanders.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
What I realized on Tuesday morning is this: With my job I already had way too much on my plate. [Full-time job, full-time school, part-time business, being a wife, Furmom, keeping a house, and not to mention watching my shows on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings!] I still have all of those things going on, minus the full time job.
I normally get up at 9 (Even when I worked, it's nice working from home- get up and turn the computer on) but i'm not thinking I want to try and be up at 7:30, 8 at the latest. I could get a lot done if i'm not wiping the sleepy out of my eye at 9AM every morning. (I know, some of you are thinking, "That isn't even the morning time!")
Having a schedule would work. I used to plan out my days to the hour- and worked very well on that schedule. The only problem was when something unexpected would happen and throw me off for the whole day, sometimes two.
Where are the hours in the day? It's already 10:30 and the motivation to get the day started hasn't come yet.
This weekend.. Ohh this weekend is going to kill me- I've got TWO (yes TWO!) weddings on Saturday. Remember a while back I said that I may work for a really awesome photographer that is right down the road? Well, I am. I had a 2 hour very small ceremony booked, and she has an all day a wedding right down the road, so I will start out at hers, go to mine, and go back to hers. Sunday I have an engagement shoot. At least I will come out of the weekend with a lot of good pictures. [had a fun maternity session last weekend-seen here.] There is one picture that I am dying to post from that- but I need to check with the mommy first. It's her & her husband on the traintracks, both shirts off and back is to me with them looking over their shoulders. (They've got some fun tattoos that they wanted to showcase, plus her belly)
I may or may not be photographing her birth. My good friend (who I think I mention on here every other week) Liz has photographed a few births and loveees it. (Thankful that we're 2 hours away so I don't feel like i'm stepping on toes if I get into birth photography here) I'm not so sure I wouldn't pass out. I don't have a problem with blood-but i've only seen a cow and cat give birth, I've never seen a human birth. (and I had my hands over my eyes for a few parts in both animal births.) Right now I am trying to think about clients, and there could be a decent market in Richmond for a birth photographer. As of now i've only found 1, but she hasn't posted new stuff in a while. There's a lot to think about there!
If you've made it to the end: congrats!
Now you may see why my days go by so quickly
as a million things swirl in my head at once.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Not so exciting: My job ends Monday! And there is no It is a little nerve wracking to know that I will not be walking up to my mail box and picking up a check every two weeks. I need that in my life. I could very well pursue photography full-time, but I decided to keep that as a side business for now. [what can I say, I like to actually have money and not have to worry if I want a pack of gum] Especially considering I don't have my dream studio. I will be pursuing Monday-Friday employment-- as soon as I dust off my resume.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
1. My new running shoes (Thanks David!)- I don’t want shin splints anymore! (Although I am STILL recovering from the previous ones)
2. The rain. The grass was starting looking yellow & crispy-
3. A friend that answers all of my photog questions (that’s YOU!)
4. My husband’s “I love you” texts that I know that he just pushes “resend” throughout the day, but it’s still sweet to get them while he’s gone.
5. My dog (although she’s harmless) to keep me company at night. If she weren’t here i’d be a little more scared at night.
I would love to copy ...love Maegan's big and fabulous curly hair that she's sporting today. And her stomach. Ah, she's so cute! (cute = super hot in the non lesbian way!)
I'll also take a little of Pulsipher Predilections and GlamLifeHouseWife's wit. (p.s. time to change your blog name Whitney!!)
...Ok I really could go on and on and on, but i'm hungry. Sadie is also hungry and is threatening to not be so protective if I don't feed her right this second.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
There really should be a part in our vows about accepting his family. My family is not perfect, but they have always accepted David with open arms. Upon entering his family I was told "Good Luck" by another member.
There's a story. There's always a story. However, it is so long that it would be impossible to describe on here. David & I screwed up by not including them when we originally got married on August 1. It was supposed to be under wraps so that everyone wins. My family is very conservative, southern baptist, and his... well his just didn't care that we were going to live together. We decided to let my parents in on it, but not his. Not out of spite, or anything, but purely for what we thought was a "win-win" situation. When we decided we weren't going to have a "wedding" on May 16, we decided we didn't want a wedding day. We didn't want a wedding day that didn't have everyone included. This was not good enough for his mother, as you know she must know everything. It has even gone as far as me getting some nasty threat-type e-mails from someone his family. (Yeah, really!) Well, curiosity killed the cat, and she found out the day that the church threw us the reception on May 16 (which was so nice of them, and that was supposed to be our "wedding day"). David went over there the next day after we got back and they talked it through. He told them how my & my parents beliefs did not line up with theirs and how we truly thought this was the best situation for everyone. Everything seemed settled. Of course they were going to be upset, after all, they did kind of miss their son's "wedding day" and it was our fault.
Well that was 3 weeks ago and his mother has not spoken to me. She has ignored every single phone call and message I left. I broke down crying the other day because I want her to forgive and move on, but she is the type to hold a grudge for years, and years. (like, double digits.)
At this point, she wants nothing to do with our lives. She doesn't want to get to know me as her daughter-in-law. I am not sure when she will eventually call, but when she does I am praying that I will have a good attitude. So much of me wants to write her out of my life because of how things are going now.
The worst part? They live a mile away from us. It isn't like we're a ways away and she happened to be busy.
When I was growing up I was terrrrrible. All of those times that my mother should have thrown her hands up and left me, she didn't. She always was quick to forgive and I guess not everyone can be like that, and that hurts. It hurts to have someone so close (in distance and family-wise) that wants absolutely nothing to do with you.
My grandmother said her MIL never once accepted her. They went through YEARS like what I am describing where she would have nothing to do with her. I really hope that is not the case for us. I make a vow right now to never, ever turn my back on my kids or their spouses.
The upside of all of this, is that deciding where to go for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, July 4th, and all the others have just gotten a lot easier!