Friday, January 9, 2009

14 Years.

In the past 14 years I have...
  • Been in the room with my Father when he had a heartattack that make him take his last breath and as a child I didn't fully understand what was going on.
  • Been lifted up to hug & kiss him in a casket, asking why he wouldn't look at me or hug me back
  • Watched my Mother cry because she didn't know how we would make ends meet
  • Celebrated 13 birthdays, Christmas', and Valentine's Days without seeing him there
  • Cried countless tears
  • Ached until I had no strength
  • Cut to heal the pain, although I realize now it only caused more pain
  • Blamed God for taking my Daddy
  • Become a woman
  • Given up what I should have saved for David
  • Gotten married without having my Daddy standing beside me
  • Gone to proms and dances without my Father having "the talk" with my dates
  • Played his favorite band's (Beach Boys) songs over and over
  • Been taught to drive by someone else
  • Gone on dates
  • Had my last first kiss
  • Been places I shouldn't have been, with people I shouldn't have been with
  • Learned the meaning of losing someone you love
Today I am..
  • Thankful that my Mom was able to re-marry
  • Thankful to realize that everything happens for a reason
  • Thankful for God in my life
  • Thankful I will see my Father again
  • Thankful I have an amazing man in my life
  • Thankful for a stepdad that has cared about me and been there where my Father couldn't be
  • Thankful I can look at pictures and see my Father
  • Thankful I inherited his wit, nose, and love for the camera
  • Thankful to have the air in my lungs
  • Thankful for a day dedicated to his memory

I love you and miss you. I am reminded of you everyday when I look at your picture on my desk. I am happy to have you looking down at me, and hope you like what you see!


zentmrs said...

Beautifl words for your father. I am certain he looks down with pride.

Gwen said...

Of course your father loves what he sees in you. I am sending loving thoughts and prayers your way. {HUGS}

Lizzz said...

beautifully written.

love you and miss you today!

Lindsey said...

This made me cry and gave me shivers to read!

So excited for you planning a ceremony, I look forward to hearing about the planning process!=)

THEhooahwife said...

oh Meg. =( This made me tear up girl. Big hugs.

Jennifer said...

Wow. This was beautiful and touching and brought tears to my eyes. I lost my mom almost ten years ago and have many of same thoughts and experiences you mentioned in your post. I love to see your maturity and honesty as you've grieved the absence of your dad over the years. THanks for sharing this with us.

Kristina P. said...

I'm sorry about your father. When I read posts like this, I realize that I take my dad for granted.

Sarah said...

How beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing something so personal.

Patrice said...

Wow beautiful post. I can't imagine going through something like this. Glad you were able to get through it. Beautiful words!

Abbi said...

so beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. praise the lord you took you situation and made a blessing out of it! God has brought you through this obstacle, and praise the lord you know that and he's in your life!

The Pink Chick said...

What a beautiful post! I know that your father is smiling down on you!

Inspired Kara said...

Think of ya. I know these things can be hard to share sometimes.

KLC said...

I hope today you can smile for all the memories you were able to share with your dad, and know that he is smiling down on you, and has been for the last 14 years.

Mrs. Nurse said...

this post was beautiful. have a great day :)

Jules said...

This is very touching and written so beautiful. I am sure that your father is looking down on you and proud of the woman that you have become.

Wearing Mascara said...

Wow - that post is extremely powerful. I know your dad is looking down proudly!

THE Stephanie said...

Very sweet. I'm sure he's extremely proud of what you've become!

Mrs. S. said...

What a beautiful post!

Sherrie said...

My heart goes out to you. It sounds like your dad would be really proud of the woman you have become. Hugs!

Jenny.Lee said...

Megan this is a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing this with us.

carissa... brown eyed fox said...

oh Megan... that was beautiful!
thank you for sharing your heart... your thoughts... your words!
you are SHINING... making him so proud!

BIG hugs!

Mamarazzi said...

this was just beautiful sweetie!

Rachel said...

Your so right; everything happens for a reason. This was a beautiful post.

KLC said...

Check out my blog, I left you an award!

The Pink Potpourri said...

what a very sweet and special post.

super tweaky mel said...

You've come a long way. I'm proud of you. I know your daddy is too. I was on a bloggin/internet break when you wrote this - but I'm thinking of you girl! Big hugs to you - and thanks for being who you are - which is so very special to me.

"J" said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh that brought tears to my eyes!!!! What a beautiful blog post!!!! I love it!!!!!

You know he is looking down on you from the heavens above!!!!! =)