Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Wedding Blues

Where do I begin? We aren't going to have a wedding ceremony. In a sense it shouldn't matter because we're already married, but I really longed for one. I mean, it's every girls dream right? So now you may be wondering why we aren't having one..it's because my parents were supposed to pay for it, told us they were going to pay for it, but apparently my dad lied about having extra money. He owes me $12500 right now, and he told me recently a "deal" went through and he would have the money back to me and we could talk about setting up a wedding account. He also got my mothers hopes up through this, that she could resume the life she was used to.

My parents aren't poor, (just for informational purposes here) they own a vineyard (but but didn't produce crop this year, resulting in money loss) plant tobacco, own apartments, 7 houses (some to rent out and some to fix and sell) and a few lots. Their bills are paid for, but as you can see from the list they rack up a lot of bills, so there isn't a lot of extra money right now.

Remember how us getting married was like a secret to everyone but my parents? (because we didn't want to just move in together and my parents would have died if we did) I guess now we will just tell people we're going to the courthouse.

I am trying not to be upset about it. We could pay for a wedding, but since 6 months have gone by since I was supposed to have the money back that I gave Dad, I will have a little bit of college loans coming up to be paid, and we're saving for a house..my dream wedding isn't in the picture.

I do have my wedding dress. My beautiful wedding dress. I am thinking I may go ahead and have it altered and have David rent a tux and us have someone take photos..so we can have pictures.

Anyways, I just needed to get all of that off my chest.. I know this isn't a happy post, but I am happy that I have the love of my life by my side forever..ceremony or not, what we have is real.

27 comments:

Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

Ah man, I am sorry about that! At least you have the right perspective, though - ceremony or not, you have an everlasting love!!

THE Stephanie said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. You're right, though, at least you should have the pics taken in your dress. I'm sure you'll be absolutely gorgeous!!

Inspired Kara said...

This is hard. We all say "weddings are not about the big day" but it is also the big day we have been dreaming about since we were little. I undestand your frustration.

- Def get the photos taken
- Maybe on your first or second or fifth anniversary you could have a "wedding" or "renewing of vows." You may find by that time what you want for that special ceremony may change.

Tina:0) said...

How not fun this is:0( But maybe you could just have a nice ceremony for your 1 year anniversary - with all the bells & whistles?! Hope you all have a Merry Christmas anyway!

The Pink Potpourri said...

that's got to be so frustrating :( but at least you have the right perspective. you're not marrying this man for a wedding...plus this is just a season of life. maybe in the next season you can have that special ceremony you've always dreamed of on an anniversary! like a "renew your vows" wedding :)

Gwen said...

Oh sweetie. I am so sorry that things aren't turning out the way you had planned. At least you have each other and the love you share. I'll say some prayers for you. But definitely take photos!!!! Or even run away to another city for a just the two of you wedding and have a reception when you return. These are all things that could be done beautiful on a budget.

Amber said...

I completely get this! My husband and I got married at the courthouse first and a few weeks later had a small, beautiful, cozy ceremony for family and friends. You absolutely have to wear that dress and I would really encourage you to have some type of gathering...even if it's small. If it's important to you. I have said so many times...over the last 14 years...I'm SO glad that we did that. It was the icing on the cake! :0)

littlesack said...

I am so sorry! I really feel for you. I have a friend going through a similar situation right now, and she is going to elope at the court house. Whenever she talks about it, it makes me want to cry, but she says it is for the best.

My only suggestion would definetly have photos taken. And after the courthouse try to find a fabulous place near by that the two of you and have some pictures taken there. Maybe a park, or a historical site in your city? Just, something lovely and beautiful.

Keep your head, everything happens for a reason.

My home - My life said...

Aww how sad. Sounds like you are doing ok though but I am sure you are bummed! Hang in there and just enjoy the relationship that you have with one another, married or not.

...love Maegan said...

*sigh* I'm sorry.

I do understand. Although we eloped I longed for a beautiful backyard wedding but my mom had no money to offer and we were going to have to foot the bill. We decided against it and I was angry with my mom for almost 2 years. It wasn't worth it because I really enjoyed the special ceremony that was just between the two of us. I didn't have to stress or worry about anyone else. A month after we got married we threw a reception party and that was really fun.

You should totally put on your dress and take photos if nothing else or throw a reception and wear it there!

Mrs. Cup said...

I'm so sorry! I think it's a great idea to put on your dress and have pictures made, or just wait until your one year anniversary and have a beautiful wedding then! You're right though...at the end of the day you have each other, and that's the most important thing!

Jennifer said...

So sorry to hear about the wedding. That sure is a bummer. I'm with everyone else though. Take some pictures in your beautiful dress and throw a little party! (o:

Rachel said...

What you have is much more memorable about a ceremony. A lot of people put so much emphasis on the wedding and not the marriage...I think you have something so special and worth more than the ceremony.

I am sorry about the false hopes that your dad had promised; I know it can be hard when you are expecting something that was promised and it falls apart...it has happened to me with my own wedding so we eloped just my hubby and I and came back and had a party.

Take those pictures though!

Kristina P. said...

Megan, I am so sorry. It's a tough situation. At least you both have each other.

"J" said...

Okay, I got it! Yall come go on the cruise with us (I'll hid you in our bags) - we will have a double wedding...lol!!!

My dad just paid off our cruise today! Which was only $1000 but I'm totally grateful!!! We wouldn't have had the extra money to pay it off with everything coming up right now!!! We are building the deck on the house, going to Ohio for a week at the end of this month, bills, bills, bills and more bills....I'm so thankful for my dad!!!!!

Why don't you wait and get married at the vineyard! That would be very very pretty!!!!

I didn't even know yall weren't married or didn't have a wedding dress!!! Heck, we have a cruise booked, I don't have a dress, we are getting married in 2 1/2 month, no ring! lol I should be getting my ring any day now! We went ring shopping a few weeks back! I know one is in the picture!!!! =) I just don't know when or how! This should be FUN! We have done everything sooooooooooooooooooooo backwards!!! Hang in there!!! Yall have EACH OTHER and that is alllllllllllllllllll that matters!!!!! =)

XOXO

countrygirl3031 said...

Oh man Megan, I'm so sorry. You're right tho...at least you have the love of your life with you forever!

Hugz,
Michele

Mrs. S. said...

I am so sorry to hear that this happened. You know, there are some places that have very good deals. There is a place here that lets you have the place for free, but you have to book it early. Also, there are destination weddings that don't cost a lot. We chose that because our families didn't have much money to spend on the wedding. We went by ourselves because we knew it was OUR day. Do what will make you happy. Is there any way that you can get the wedding license and have it signed...then have a small ceremony at your house? Just some thoughts...I know how it feels to want that big day, but at least you have it all in perspective.

Kat said...

Crap. I'm sorry.

Can you save up for it yourself? My hubby and I both scrimped and saved and even charged for our wedding. Maybe it won't be the wedding of your dreams, but it could still be a great party. ???

Caroline said...

o i am sooo sorry! i hoep the wedding works out, and i will pray for you!!
-Caroline

carissa... brown eyed fox said...

oh... i can sense your disappointment... i am SO sorry!

i know this is not what you want to here but my silly two cents... "the wedding" is really not THE thing! the TWO of YOU are!
the wedding will come... it WILL... it is something near to your heart... you will make it happen... one day! Vows... a day to remember. You HAVE right now what is special in each other... hold onto that! you are a beautiful bride... wow... how you will look in your dress... take those pictures! :)

you hang in there! thinking... praying for you!

THEhooahwife said...

OH Meg! I'm so so so sorry! That sucks so badly! =(

Is there anyway you could have just a *little* wedding so you don't feel so jipped?? Maybe later than you wanted? Or like someone else said, for one of your Anniversaries?

I know you were looking forward to that so much!

Mrs. McB said...

I'm so very sorry. I know how everyone dreams of their wedding, but you are right you have the man of your dreams. :)

CL said...

Here's a suggestion... you might wanna try a small and intimate chapel wedding. You don't have to pay a lot. I'm going to my country for my official wedding ceremony, but my fiance's parents live here and couldn't come, so he asked if we could have a small ceremony here too. I agreed and when we searched for chapels here in Ohio, I was pleasantly surprised to find one that will charge us only $400 for the chapel (fully decorated with flowers) and officiant... with max of 30 guests. Maybe you can find one like that in DC. All the best!

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Lump said...

oh so sorry to hear this. :( you don't need a ceremony! just throw a little party. and definitely get pictures of you in your dress.

Tasha said...

I'm so sorry things didn't work out with your dad. Weddings are so expensive. I would definitely get some pictures taken in your dress! You will look beautiful and the photos will be cherished forever. Do you have some photographer friends who could hook you up for a minimal price? If you like chapels or churches for a setting, they are decorated to the max at Christmas time, so you might be able to renew your vows at a local church and have some pictures taken during this? Just invite a couple of friends and get some pics with poinsettas in the background. It would be beautiful! You have a great perspective on everything. It's all about the relationship instead of the wedding, but I know this is tough for you.

Miss Anne said...

I just am reading this now and wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you.

I think getting the pics taken no matter what is key... and will allow you to capture the feelings and memories of how beautiful you feel and how special your bond is.

You are a patient and kind and loving soul.