This really tickles my toes..

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Looking for a friend on facebook, I came across a girl that is currently attending Liberty University (where I was as a resident student but currently finishing up through the distance learning program)

(should I block her face? can I go to jail?!?)
Blogging friends, meet Shanta Clause.
I wonder when she was in grade school if the kids were excited when she was "coming down the slide" (get it, slide..not chimney!!)

Have you met any (okay I haven't met her, but whatever!) not-so-ordinary-named people? And the celebrity baby names..don't get me started on them!!

P.S. If you are here for the GIVEAWAY...
go down ONE post!!!

Pretty Things..

Since I probably had a TMI post earlier
I thought I'd take another stab at blogging today..

You see, I am one of those TERRIBLE gift givers. Meaning, I always spoil the surprise. My mother LOVES Thomas Kinkade. (almost as much as I love sex...whaaa?) So, I was online browsing all of the wonderful things I could get her for Christmas (I know it isn't even cold out yet, but I love buying things for people) and stumbled upon this:

A Thomas Kinkade Welcome Flag

I know she loves his work so much I couldn't make her wait until Christmas to get it. So I called her and told her I was sending her something, but I wasn't going to tell her what it was! Before I got off the phone, she knew what she was getting and when it should arrive. Arrrgh.

One day I will keep a birthday/Christmas/special occasion gift a secret!

Sex (need I say more?)

That's right folks, today I am talking about sex.

The thing I do not understand about sex is...why can it not freely be talked about? Granted, it is a private matter between two people (unless you're into the other "sort of thing") But STILL.. ALL adults do it..and on a somewhat regular basis (Well, and a lot of kids now a days too..Geez Louise)

I love sex.
Most certainly, not sex with some random joe schmoe.
Sex with David.
Is the Best. Ever.
There- .I.said.it.
Now we can move to the funny story, right?

The most embarrassing moment with David has to be the time we were (well you know..its what this whole post is about) and something just sounded, weird. Squishy, even. Well at the end I am getting up and a huge WERID noise comes from down there. I think the word is so gross that I am not going to say it. Dave & I just look at each other as I am clasping myself with my hand because I dont want it to happen again.. and we laugh. As I am laughing it happens again and again. David made a comment about the "air jets busting" or something. Either way, I hate it when that happens. All I can say is at least we can find humor in it. If we didn't, I think I would have sworn off sex forever.

Side note: I wish that I had "saved myself" for David. Even if we had to go through the "this is really awkward and I don't really like it" phase. The meaning behind it would have been worth it by far.

I am not going to ask you to share a funny sex story, because some people would consider that extrememly rude. But if you want, go ahead!

Picture This.

Do you ever drive around to look at the big houses? We live in a community FULL of HUGE HUGE HUGE houses. And they are all so pretty. About a week ago we took one such drive and ended up on a certain road and in the far distance you see this:

This.house.made.me.speechless

This picture certainly does NOT do the house justice. (I couldn't exactly get out and take a picture, it had to be quickly snapped then I turned around) Do you see that "road"?? That is like 1/6 of the distance of the road leading to the house. Before you get to this point, there are tonsss of trees on both sides...simply beautiful.

Where the picture of the house is taken, if you look to the left
this is what you see. I love this barn.

If I had the courage to go talk to the owners to see if I could take a couple shots around their property I would say this:
Hi, my name is Megan. (I think I could get through that much pretty well) yourhouseisstunningandIhavedrivenby,wellnotonlyby,Iactually droveALLthewaydownyourdriveway (breathe) well,notallthewaydown, Ididn'twanttostalkyoubutyourhouseissopretty. (is this the part they would call the cops?)

You get the picture. I'd be a wreck. I can bet that this isn't the first time someone has commented on their beautiful house. Although, I am pretty sure that it wasn't some random stranger that has already taken a picture of it.

Small Spaces = Not for Me.

Friday my sister texted me asking what Dave & I were doing for the weekend. Since no major plans were set, she decided her & Riley would go on a Road Trip. (The "boys" -her husband & son- were camping for the weekend) It was supposed to take them at least four hours to get here, but they made it in 3.5 hours with a stop or to along the way. (I think we drive the same way)

Such a wonderful weekend.
& here are some pictures:

Me at the "pond" behind our apartment.
Why is my stomach sticking out?

Riley & I feeding the fish

Sisters!
This was a HORRIBLE picture of me
so I tried to make it look not-so-scary by messing the light up.
I don't think it worked though! :/

I am getting chills by just looking at this picture.
You see, we decided to play a little hide-and-seek.
It started by all of us taking different turns hiding Riley.
(Who would nicely fit into small areas)
..and then Riley wanted me to hide.
So Dave & Riley wait outside
& Kirsten and I are running around to find a spot for me.
We settled on this little cabinet beside the sink.
As soon as I got in there I started feeling sick.
But, I had to wait until Dave/Riley found me.
I didn't want to be the loser who couldn't hide.
I believe that I am extremely claustrophobic.

The story is pretty funny though.
They looked for about 10 minutes.
Couldn't find me.
So Dave is all "I'm trying to find things out of place"
and then, he FINALLY notices the crockpot
is by his desk, under his bag.
(Firstly, I couldn't hide under his bag, too small)
I was like CRAP I'm totally getting caught now.
but, (haha) I do the cooking
and Dave didn't know where I normally put the crockpot.
So I had a few more minutes of him searching
until I was finally found.

By the time I got out, (and you can start to see it in the picture)
My foot had turned completely purple
and hurt so bad.
Dave opens the cabinet and Riley yells,
"AUNT MEGAN YOUR FOOT IS PURPLE!!!!"
It took another 15 minutes to get back to normal.

There was a lot of this for a short visit.
Riley would get on Dave's back
and he'd "flop down" and then do a push up.
She was totally amused.

I tried, thank goodness there were no pictures.
it's a lot harder than it looks.
(& can we take a moment and stare at the sexy arms..mmm)

It was late, and you can tell that by the grossness of my face.
This picture reminds me of HOW GREAT Dave is going
to be at being a "daddy"
3 years. That's all I have to wait :)

Riley & I taking a walk.

She is so precious :)

Tell me, what did YOU do this weekend?

In Kindergarten Mrs. Hall called me "motor mouth"

Two nights ago I had a wonderful dream

&& in dreamland I was petting this:
Except he (or she) was much bigger
and MUCH, MUCH more fluffy.

But then I got woken up by this:
He said I was petting him.
(He's saying, "don't take a picture of me, I'm eating" hehe)
Literally petting him.
--->Enter total embarrassment<--

..I wish there was a way I could get my dreams under control.
Every night I talk.
Sometimes SCREAM.
And most of the time I can remember what I was talking (or screaming) about.
crazy . crazy . crazy

:)

I want to be completely honest with my blogging friends!
..but I have a feeling that there is at least one person reading my blog that knows me personally and I don't want them to know about my life..

So, Liz, who is the only person that I actually know outside of blogland gave me the idea to ask for an e-mail to send out the details.

The "SECRET" that I was talking about a few posts back has happened. :)

Leave your e-mail if you want to be filled in with the JuIcY dEtAiLs.

Feeling Guilty.

I have always been proud of myself in the fact that I have never stolen anything. Not even as a child. So tell me WHY the other day, when I was paying for my overpriced sub did I say that I did not want a fountain drink. I then thought, "Oh yes I do, but you're going to look dumb and probably explain way to much about how you said you didn't but now you do in fact want that cup for soda."

Me. An Adult. Stole. The. Cup. And. Filled. It. With. Diet. Coke.
..and a lemon

I could have filled it with water, and not have felt guilty, but I sucked down that Diet Coke & Lemon with a smile.

How bad is that?

Oh yes I did.

Years ago when I went to the DMV for my learners permit, I had to take two tests, both which should have been able to be done with ease! However, I was so nervous and couldn't wait to have my sunglasses on, the wind in my hair, and of course my mother beside me because it was after all the learners permit and not the actual license. I had heard that the DMV would give you questions to make you think, and some might even be trick answers! For the signs test, there were 10 questions, and you had to pass them ALL to go to the next, slightly easier, test.

Question 1 looks something like this:
What does this sign mean:

1. drive with caution.
2. stop if necessary.
3. you must come to a complete stop.
4. slow down.

My thoughts:
"Oh man, this is the first question and I don't want to miss it. I know it is a stop sign, but if you HAD to stop then it would have the word "STOP" on it. This is a tricky test, just like so-and-so told me. Okay, i'm going to go with number 2."

WRONG.
The computer screen then nicely tells me that I have to wait a week and try to take the test again.

And I cried.